Hair Loss Survival

[Paraphrased from The Columbus Dispatch article on August 18, 2003]

The calling that has given Brenda a thriving business and incalcuable satisfaction came to her 20 years ago in the bleakest of moments. Her grandmother, suffering through chemotheraphy for ovarian cancer, asked Brenda to brush her hair.

"I took one swipe, and the brush was just full of hair." she recalled. "Terror just went through me. I knew what she wanted me to do. She asked me to just keep brushing. I did that for an hour, and when I was done, her hair was completely gone."

Despite Brenda's age -- she had just finished college with a degree in public relations and marketing -- her grandmother was convinced that the bubbly, stylish 22-year-old could help her cope with the aspect of cancer that most terrified her. Brenda felt no choice but to try.

"It was as if, somehow, because I had brushed her hair away, now it was my responsibility." she said.

Seeing her lively, outgoing grandmother withdraw with the loss of her hair gave Brenda all the motivation she needed. Drawing on her own interest in fashion and makeup, she researched all she could about wigs and wig makers and set out to make her grandmother's remaining life -- she lived five more years -- as happy as possible. Within months, Brenda enrolled at a cosmetology school with the idea that more cancer patients could benefit from the same type of attention.

"When I saw what it was doing for her and that I was good at what I was doing -- I wanted to do more with it." she said. By 1989, Brenda had joined her father's hairpiece-making business, Hauck Hair Unlimited, and specialized in making wigs for cancer patients. Since starting Brenda's Hair to Wear in 1999, she has helped hundreds of clients, mainly women, make the best of the worst time of their lives. Along with wig styling, Brenda and her staff can cut clients' own hair -- both before the hair loss, to ease the transition to the wig, and after chemothearpy, when their own hair returns.

Starting with prefabricated wigs, Brenda styles, colors and modifies them to meet clients' wishes -- usually to resemble their own hair as closely as possible. Her clients also include those who lose their hair for other reasons, such as an emotional disorder that causes them to pull out their hair. But the vast majority are cancer patients. For many of them, she plays as critical a role as their surgeons and oncologists.

Like many of Brenda's clients, Michele Colaiacovo was filled with dread when she visited the salon in 2000, just after her chemothearpy started.

"I was very nervous about losing my hair."said Colaiacovo, who was 35 at the time. "It was the worst part of the whole thing for me."

She brought her mother and sister to her consultation for moral support. In short order, Brenda had the women laughing as she encouraged Colaiacovo to try on every type of wig. Brenda said, "Have fun with this -- you get to pick your dream hair."

Like most of Brenda's clients, Colaiacovo opted for a wig that looked like her own blonde hair, but the dress up exercise had served its purpose. "She changed the whole mood," Colaiacovo said. "Then, we were all relaxed."

Of course, not all of Brenda's clients can be coaxed into laughter. People are in different phases when they first arrive, she said. For many, "This is sort of a reality check. They've been able to hide the (surgery) scars, they're still feeling OK, they haven't started to lose hair yet. This is when it hits home what's happening. Some people just weep."

Brenda's job satisfaction comes from when she sees those women gain comfort and confidence from their temporary hair. "I feel that I am genuinely helping people and I get immediate gratification from my work." she said.

Those who consider hair loss a trivial concern in the big picture of cancer probably haven't known many patients. Brenda had the same thought about her grandmother. "I was thinking, 'Who cares about your hair, I want you to get better." she recalled. "Then I realized that what I wanted and what made things easier for her was two different things."

Now, she focuses on whatever it takes to help her clients face the world, whether it's the right wig, a clever hat or better makeup.

"Being bald is fine, if that's your choice," she said. "It's not OK if you feel like you don't have choices."

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